Left you hanging, didn't I?
Since my part 2 is now conflicting with the words I'm writing for Rob during our wedding ceremony (and I want him to hear if from me rather than a blog first), you will have to wait.
(dodging the rotten tomatoes you are mentally throwing at me)
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Why OaG? (Part 1)
Full Disclosure – I am finding there is ever increasing truth in the phenomenon of “wedding brain”. A professor of mine warned our entire nursing class about entering into any kind of relationship while in the program. It was good advice. I’m a focused student, but this semester has been much harder, as class difficulty, GPA expectations and amount of time needed to think about my future have all increased dramatically. Right at this moment, I am drafting this blog post while I avoid my 15 page paper about abdominal surgery adhesion and bowel obstruction risk. You would too, right?
And now, for the topic at hand. Childhood friends, college roommates, current classmates, family members and coworkers have asked some great questions during the course of my relationship with OaG. After getting past the initial ones like “When is the big day?”, “Where are you getting married?”, “You’re moving to…. KANSAS?!?!?” the most frequent question has been, “How did you know he was ‘the one’?”.
I think that’s a great question. And, it’s something that has been good for me to process. There are two separate sides to the answer. One is that of the spiritual confirmation (matters of the heart). The other, is that of the qualities of him and of our relationship (matters of the mind).
Falling in love with OaG wasn’t a singular event. He was the first to say the words, and it took me a little time to catch up. But, I can tell you the exact moment my heart softened toward him.
It wasn’t at our initial communication via eHarmony (I didn’t tell you that’s how we met, did I?). It wasn’t our first phone conversation. It wasn’t the first day we spent together walking the grounds of Appomattox Courthouse National Park. Nor was it when he called for a second date afterward. In fact, during all of those times, I viewed him simply as a chance to keep my dating skills from getting too rusty. Sure, I was happy to get out of the house, and I was glad to do a little civic duty by entertaining a visiting Army officer to our state. But, I wasn’t interested in anything more. He was from out-of-state, had been divorced and had full custody of his children – all complications I was really not looking to add to the peaceful and studious life I had recreated for myself following my father’s passing.
And now, for the topic at hand. Childhood friends, college roommates, current classmates, family members and coworkers have asked some great questions during the course of my relationship with OaG. After getting past the initial ones like “When is the big day?”, “Where are you getting married?”, “You’re moving to…. KANSAS?!?!?” the most frequent question has been, “How did you know he was ‘the one’?”.
I think that’s a great question. And, it’s something that has been good for me to process. There are two separate sides to the answer. One is that of the spiritual confirmation (matters of the heart). The other, is that of the qualities of him and of our relationship (matters of the mind).
Falling in love with OaG wasn’t a singular event. He was the first to say the words, and it took me a little time to catch up. But, I can tell you the exact moment my heart softened toward him.
It wasn’t at our initial communication via eHarmony (I didn’t tell you that’s how we met, did I?). It wasn’t our first phone conversation. It wasn’t the first day we spent together walking the grounds of Appomattox Courthouse National Park. Nor was it when he called for a second date afterward. In fact, during all of those times, I viewed him simply as a chance to keep my dating skills from getting too rusty. Sure, I was happy to get out of the house, and I was glad to do a little civic duty by entertaining a visiting Army officer to our state. But, I wasn’t interested in anything more. He was from out-of-state, had been divorced and had full custody of his children – all complications I was really not looking to add to the peaceful and studious life I had recreated for myself following my father’s passing.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Like Sands through the Hourglass...
So are the days of my life.
Our wedding website has many handy features. It allows us to share the "Story of Us" and details about accommodations, times, etc. for the big day. One feature, that unfortunately comes with the template and is not alterable, is a countdown to our wedding day. 55 today, in case you wanted to know. This ever shrinking number on the home page of our wedding website is bittersweet.
The sweet is that I will marry a great man in that many days. I will live a life of "we" instead of "me". I will move. I will transfer schools. It is the official first day of an almost completely new life. It's the day from which point forward, I can fall asleep in OaG's arms, and that is something to look forward to.
The bitter part of the countdown is it serves as a painful reminder that I'm not always meeting my own high expectations. In my dream world, I would be exactly where I want to be in life on my wedding day. But, alas... despite a dizzying pace for the next 55 days, I will still come up short.
The bitter part of the countdown is it serves as a painful reminder that I'm not always meeting my own high expectations. In my dream world, I would be exactly where I want to be in life on my wedding day. But, alas... despite a dizzying pace for the next 55 days, I will still come up short.
By going back to school at this time in life, it means I'll be a college student and a newlywed. I keep doing better on restoring my health, but I will likely not fit back into my goal pair of jeans by wedding day. I don't have the savings I'd like to at this age. Hmmm.... those might be the big three that occupy my mind.
Here's where I could use your comments. Where did/do you want to be in life when you got/get married? What goals were easier to achieve together than alone? How did your wedding day impact goals you had previously or did you develop new ones?
In Case you Love Someone who is Really Old
I'm working an overnight shift and dispensing random advice to any readers out there. This is coming from the position of working as a CNA for the last year and a half (this chapter cannot close fast enough) while going back to school to be a RN.
Most CNA work involves the very old. I've mostly worked with rehab patients who come to our facility for a short time for physical and occupational therapy. Many had hip or knee replacements. They do not need hospital care anymore, but they aren't ready to go home and function normally yet, so they spend some time with us. But, I've also worked on our long-term care floors (read: nursing home). In either case, 99% of the patients I work with are over the age of 85.
You may have a parent, grandparent, great-grandparent, aunt or uncle out there who is such a person. If you do, this unsolicited advice is for you:
1. If you buy them clothing, make sure it is knit fabric and very stretchy. It gets very hard to move limbs around and force them into rigid shirts and pants when they reach this stage of life.
2. They are always cold. If you are thinking of a gift, I suggest a sweater or throw blanket.
3. WRITE THEM LETTERS. If I could show you how proudly these folks display correspondence from loved ones on the wall and how eager they are to tell you all about the person who wrote it, you would have already sent your letter. They love to know they aren't forgotten and to still feel a part of the family.
4. If you are sending food, check first to see what kind of diet they are on. It's a bad idea to bring someone their old favorite box of chocolates if they are now diabetic, on a puree diet for swallowing difficulty and unable to consume this tempting treat.
5. If you can, visit. Talk to the staff. Make it obvious that your loved one has loved ones, and you are watching to make sure they are taken care of properly.
Most CNA work involves the very old. I've mostly worked with rehab patients who come to our facility for a short time for physical and occupational therapy. Many had hip or knee replacements. They do not need hospital care anymore, but they aren't ready to go home and function normally yet, so they spend some time with us. But, I've also worked on our long-term care floors (read: nursing home). In either case, 99% of the patients I work with are over the age of 85.
You may have a parent, grandparent, great-grandparent, aunt or uncle out there who is such a person. If you do, this unsolicited advice is for you:
1. If you buy them clothing, make sure it is knit fabric and very stretchy. It gets very hard to move limbs around and force them into rigid shirts and pants when they reach this stage of life.
2. They are always cold. If you are thinking of a gift, I suggest a sweater or throw blanket.
3. WRITE THEM LETTERS. If I could show you how proudly these folks display correspondence from loved ones on the wall and how eager they are to tell you all about the person who wrote it, you would have already sent your letter. They love to know they aren't forgotten and to still feel a part of the family.
4. If you are sending food, check first to see what kind of diet they are on. It's a bad idea to bring someone their old favorite box of chocolates if they are now diabetic, on a puree diet for swallowing difficulty and unable to consume this tempting treat.
5. If you can, visit. Talk to the staff. Make it obvious that your loved one has loved ones, and you are watching to make sure they are taken care of properly.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
*Hold Music*
I've been pretty stressed and overwhelmed the last week or so. So, while I restrain myself from airing my stresses here, I bring you more pictures from last week's visit.
It's been established that pics of the kids are ok. I just need to come with aliases for them... Hmmm.... My dad called me and my sisters #1, #2 and #3. I think I will stick with that pattern. As an introduction to the family, there are four boys and a girl. That's right. #4 is the lone girl. She's a little more than excited to have someone teach her how to crochet. I'm glad I can help her in that regard in her house full of boys.
#4 as a pumpkin
#4,5 helped me make chocolate chip cookies while OaG napped
#4,5 - crazy drivers!
#5 tames the wild tire horse
#5 at the JV football game. He has a thing for American Flags and wanted me to take a picture with my phone of every one he spotted. I convinced him to get in the frame with the flag here.
OaG explaining the finer points of braking in a go-cart to #4
It's been established that pics of the kids are ok. I just need to come with aliases for them... Hmmm.... My dad called me and my sisters #1, #2 and #3. I think I will stick with that pattern. As an introduction to the family, there are four boys and a girl. That's right. #4 is the lone girl. She's a little more than excited to have someone teach her how to crochet. I'm glad I can help her in that regard in her house full of boys.
#3 on the go cart at the pumpkin patch
#3,4,5 on the little train at the pumpkin patch
#4 as a pumpkin
#4,5 helped me make chocolate chip cookies while OaG napped
#4,5 - crazy drivers!
#5 tames the wild tire horse
#5 at the JV football game. He has a thing for American Flags and wanted me to take a picture with my phone of every one he spotted. I convinced him to get in the frame with the flag here.
OaG explaining the finer points of braking in a go-cart to #4
Friday, October 14, 2011
Taking Care - The Key Story
When I bought my Rav4, it came with two sets of keys. One of them was lost during an exceptionally great fall day in exceptionally long grass in an apple orchard with Angela. We had hours of great conversation, several bags of fresh picked apples, a few pumpkins and then a lengthy wait sitting on a log while my sainted neighbors drove out to bring my spare set of keys (in DC traffic out 66 on a work day - get how sacrificial that was of them?). Since that day, about 6-7 years ago, I've been using my "spare" keys.Some time in the last few weeks, my remote keyless entry died. It was a sad day. But, it had served me for several years, so I shouldn't have been suprised when it was just too tired to go on. I've always heard that those remotes were really expensive to replace, so I just resigned myself to the remainder of my life being spent using an actual key to unlock a car door. Revolutionary, right?
On last week's visit, though, OaG apparently noticed my plight. While we were in the PX, he sneakily waiting at the jewelry and battery counter and flipped what I didn't realize was the old battery of my remote to the sales associate. She promptly found a new one. And within a few minutes, my remote was magically working again. Oh happy day!
I'm very excited about the ease of entering and locking my vehicle again. But, I'm most touched by the way my sweet fiancee saw a need and got to work on it without making any fanfare. What a guy.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
3 Hands
I am accustomed to keeping my hands busy. School, work, service, blogging, playing with my cat, Teddy.... I am even good at multitasking. When I am determined, you'd be hard pressed to find someone that can get more accomplished with their two hands.But, on this past visit, I had a brief comical realization. We were walking at the pumpkin patch. My left hand was in OaG's right hand. My right hand was around the left hand of one of the kids. And... my low rise jeans needed to be pulled up just a smidgen. Oops! No hands available.
I may need a third one to succeed after the wedding.
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